Monday, 5 September 2016

Girl love

Don't you think the world would be a nicer place if women stopped giving each other such a hard time? Stopped jellyfishing each other? (credit Helen Feilding in Bridget Jones)

We seriously give each other shit, ALL the time, 'curvy' girls give 'slim' girls a hard time for being 'TOO skinny' they 'should eat some pie' (we're ALL guilty of this) I don't know why but it's seen as 'OK' to tell a slim girl she's skinny, but if a slim girl were to turn round and call a curvy girl 'fat and suggest she has a salad' she'd be all 'oh no you di'nt Shaniqua!' and the gloves would be off members of the public would run to her aid and hell would freeze over! Now slim ladies who are reading this don't go thinking you can sit there feeling completely vindicated because you might not tell a 'curvy' girl she's 'fat' to her face but you ain't calling her 'curvy' behind her back and she knows that, and THAT is just as shit...

Which brings us nicely on to Bums (see what I did there? my defence...that IS their intended function!)  or the current 'desirable' size as deemed by the media, when I was younger it was best to have a small bum, now big bums are where it's at, and we never tire of telling each other! Honestly?! Newsflash ladies! There is more to us than our physical appearance! If you are happy with your physical appearance then I'm happy for you but that doesn't mean your friend isn't happy with hers, just because you don't value a physical feature doesn't mean that's not your friends favourite body part and if it isn't? Then that's even sadder, by constantly commenting on each other's size, shape, looks, we are reinforcing bad body image in ourselves and our friends! Booooo us!

Boob criticising? Seriously?! So your pair might be perkier than your mates but can YOU carry a mobile phone, your cash for the night and the get away car in YOUR cleavage?! I think not. There are perks to having perky boobs, there are perks to have a buxom bossom, there are ZERO perks in making your mate feel shit about the size, shape or random storage capabilities of her nunga nungas! (Credit Louise Rennison Angus thongs and full frontal snogging.) The actual function of said boobs is to provide life giving sustenance to our children, they are therefore not first and foremost an object purely for sexual desire!!! (Although they are handy for that too.)

Which brings me nicely in to the whole 'breast is best' debacle! Ok agreed, breast milk is what nature intended, it's full of all sorts of antibodies which give baby exactly what is needed, BUT some women just physically can't breastfeed for reasons such as not having a milk supply large enough to feed their precious darling, or some are even physically repulsed by the act of breastfeeding (now rightly or wrongly this is a situation brought on by the over sexualisation of breasts in society so take your judgey pants off!) and hell other woman choose to bottle feed for their own sodding convenience, they choose NOT to be slave to breastfeeding, they might not have the time to spare because they have other things going on, they may have other children, hell some BABIES just can't breastfeed no matter how hard the mother tries and guess what? A woman's breasts are her own to choose to do what she wants with and shit all to do with you!

Now we've covered a few of the woman on woman crimes on a physical level let's talk about stay at home Mums thinking it's ok to slam working Mums, I know you've chosen to stay at home with Darius, knit your own knickers and weave your own yoghurt, but that doesn't mean a woman who has chosen to go to work isn't doing what she thinks is right for her children and working Mum's?  Just because you have decided the right thing to do is show your daughter that women can be independent  working women that don't need no man, doesn't mean that Julia staying home to teach Fabio the alphabet in Hebrew backwards is the wrong decision! Also before you judge you should also consider  that there's not always a choice in either case. Some Mums HAVE to work to financially support their families they have no other option! That DOESN'T mean they are shirking their responsibilities to their children, and some Mums HAVE to stay at home because for one reason or another that's what's best for their children, that doesn't mean that they are lazy and are scroungers! Of course there are exceptions! In the both cases! controversially some Mums just don't find the whole earth mother thing comes easily! The thought of sitting at home watching endless episodes of peppa pig (😳 Oh don't look so offended we ALL do it!) makes them quite literally want to throw themselves under a bus and some Mum's have never wanted anything out of life other than a family! As long as their children are well looked after what the actual fuck does it matter?!

While we're at it, we've all had that sinking feeling when an extremely pretty woman walks in the room! I dunno what is? Some primal urge to be top dog? Some throwback from our cave woman instincts? The thing here is though is 1. This girl didn't choose to be pretty! 2. Who is to say that that wasn't your future best friend walking into the room right there and all that you are doing by giving in to your cave girl urges to belittle her, other than making yourself look a complete twat is depriving yourself of endless nights of drunken debauchery

We all have single friends and married friends don't we? So why do we feel the need to judge each others behaviour? Married ladies, don't play up to your expected part and make your mate feel bad for sowing her wild oats, equally single girls don't accuse your mate of being smug or only having the opinions she does because she's in a relationship. The tables are easily turned, and you might find yourselves in each others current situation one day! Let's not give men a free licence to call us sluts by referring to each other that way.

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