Sunday, 4 September 2016

The heebies jeebies, the fear or post party interference

Do you ever wake up after a night out and just feel that sinking feeling way down deep in the pit of your stomach? The feeling that you've done something heinously wrong? A ball of anxiety? Do you mentally check through what could be causing this sense of uneasiness; do you too think to yourself 'did I Inappropriately slut drop in front of Gemma's Dad?' ' Did I put one of my kids up for sale on eBay? (I've been threatening to for a while!)' Did I sign myself up to give a sex ed talk at the local comprehensive?' 'Did I after a particularly harrowing barking session finally put an end to the next door neighbours dog with a pitchfork' (I feel I need to say my neighbour doesn't own a dog and I don't own a pitchfork! Lucky for the dog!!!)' did I finally tell Sharon that her kids are little shits and that I'm honestly worried they will one day become serial killers?!'

The answer to all the above is 'no' the feeling you have in the pit of your stomach is your punishment for enjoying yourself, so stop your whining and take it like a man!

Footnote: Gemma and Sharon are fictional characters.

Footnote: sorry Gemma I hope your Mum will one day forgive me. ☹️😳

Footnote: sorry Sharon I hope one day you find it in your heart to forgive me and don't worry I've set up a just giving page for any shrink bills/bail money they might need in the future. πŸ˜¬πŸ˜¬πŸ˜¬πŸ€—

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